26 | You don’t know why do you fail after planning?! Let’s get to know the THREE common Productivity traps that you can outsmart with just ONE single point!

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Hey Mama, It's officially the first episode of season three. so Welcome Back...

Have you ever been there? I mean so frustrated because you can't get what is the reason behind your failures inspite of the burst efforts?!

You are attempting but you fail again and again and again... so you're disappointed because you may feel you're not capable of doing the things and planning the right way... 

But it might be something related to the traps that you are in... 

This podcast episode is highly recommended! 

By the way, from now on, we're gonna have " Tip Tuesday" here in the podcast, which means that I'm gonna answer your questions in the podcast. so If you'd like to ask me anything please reach me anywhere in the instagram or ... and send me a voice of your question so that I can answer your question and together we can share our experiences with others. 

What do you say? Let's dive in Mama...

Let's get connected...

Why I earth I'm not able to manage my life. I'm really worried about myself, why I cannot really plan my life, why I cannot be committed to my plannings, to my goal settings. What the heck is going? God? Well, maybe of a procrastinator. Yeah, maybe this is the reason, because these days a lot of people are talking about procrastination. Or maybe it is the perfectionism, yeah, the perfections. That might also be a kind of problem of mind, or even the fact that I really do not know how to plan. Well, I just want to let it go. I'm not just the kind of person who can manage her life, so I want to let go of all of this. Well, if these questions are in your mind and these answers are the answers that you typically give to yourself in response to those questions, please please be with me until the end of this very episode, because I want to change your mindset around this topic of planning, a goal set be the best version of yourself. Mama, I'm asster is a, and welcome to mamanist and nest for mother MOMS who are eager to achieve a simpler, more intentional life. In this podcast, we're going to rewrite the script and reinvent the culture of Motherhood Together. Remember, becoming a mother is the beginning of our prosperity, not forgetting ourselves. A fulfilled, healthy, confident and productive mom is all we need to be to guarantee our families future. I'm an emission to make you feel empowered and...

...less overwhelmed. Will focus on productivity, parenting, mindfulness, minimalism, environmental and economic consciousness, besides family wellness. I'm here to help you brought in your horizon, in gain clarity of showing up as your best mamaself. So let's build you up today. Let's dive into it. Hey, Mama, how are you doing? WHAT SAP? Welcome back to the third season of MOMS podcast. Yeah, we've been a part from each other for about two months. I mean after Episode Number Twenty Five. We've been apart from each other for around two months because in this period we were busy with developings of the courses, like the design your attainable best self workshop, also the ENGL which academy second semester, also the application, also they planner of moments and lots of other stuff. So we were busy developing the solutions for you, and in this time period I found it useful for both myself and you to just absorb what was really be given to you in this podcasts of season two, because in season two we were focusing on some of the stuff like productivity, planning, goal setting, real goal setting, creating systems and routines for yourself, and the things that really need practice. They really need practice, and so because of that, we really decided not to publish any other episode before these infrastructure and these things come together. So I wish that in this...

...season also, you would rip the benefits of listening to this podcast, because I really do not want to disturb you. I just want to transfer any kind of positivity around motherhood, any kind of knowledge that is worth listening, any kind of idea that is worth sharing with you. So what do you say? Let's begin. Well, have you heard the questions that I've talked about in the beginning of the episode, and also have you thought about the answers that you might give to any of these questions? For example, maybe you're procrastinator and that's why you cannot really plan your life and be committed to this plan. Maybe you are some sort of I mean doing paralysis, analysis or any other stuff. Maybe you're incapable of doing anything or stuff. But you know, these are in your mind, these are the false misconceptions in your mind that I would call them the planning traps, the goal setting traps, I call them the traps. These are the traps that you're into them, you fall into them, the things like the paralysis analysis, the things like perfectionism or inability to manage your time or, I don't know, the low focus of you or anything. These are your misconceptions about this, I mean fact of not being able to be successful in planning and goal setting and...

...stuff. Just take into consideration this very example. Consider a mom who is really, really busy, having two children, for example, one is one year old and the other one is six years old, and also the mom is a working mom, so he works outside the home, and with all of these things that are on her plate, she's desperately in need to search for the ideal way of planning, the ideal way of doing the things and managing the time and managing the life and stuff, and she goes to learn a lot of things out there, she goes to read a lot of things out there, and all of a sudden she finds herself so incapable of even managing her personal life, let alone all of the other areas of her life, and she experiences these resentment, which is not really good for us. But have you ever thought about this fact? That was really the mom guilty you know what? So of the Times the problem is generalization. I mean we generalize the method, we generalize the things from other people to our life, and in this way we are really falling into the trap of Planning. You know, this is the real trap, this is the real thing that made us to just feel uncomfortable with ourselves, feel unsatisfied with ourselves. You...

...know what? The planning traps in my opinion are not those labels like procrastination, like paralysis, analysis right perfectionism or stuff. You know, the planning traps in my opinion are three things. First of all, the inadequate tool of planning and goal setting. Why do I mean by that? For example, think of a mom that picks planning method and a goal setting method from a student who is not married and also not having any children, and she, as a mom, tries her best to implement those techniques and those effect into her life and after a while, she would see that you cannot really be committed to this think this dream which is not really defined. Before that, do you think that if a mom is not able to be part of the five am clubs, do you think that mom is guilty? You think that MOM is blameworthy? Or, for example, do you think that if that mom cannot do all of the things that is in the atomic habits book, is that MOM blameworthy or guilty? Have you ever thought that these techniques and the methods that we're using for our goal setting and planning are really tailor made for us or not? All of the Times that I see, for...

...example, a kind of advertisement for a Webinar or course or so that they really try to sell you this course. So they they will write in that advertisement that, for example, this course is going to help you to manage your life, to plan your life, and then the instructure of that course is someone who is, for example, the top of student of this university, okay, the top students of this university, and so this instructor want to tell you all about the goal setting and the life planning and stuff, but is that person eligible enough to just teach that course? Maybe, maybe that person is just successful in that area of his or her life, which is the education and the and the professional part of her life, the professional part of her life. So that person might not be really eligible to talk about the whole concept of life, and whole I mean aspects of life. So we really need to just think of these tools and methods in another way and just question ourselves, does this method works for me too, because I myself have a different situation. So the second planning trap that I discovered is the restrictive mindset, the restrictive mindset. And what do I mean by the restrictive mindset? It means that the kind of mindset that gives you the label of different challenges and problems. For example, your restrictive mindset is just lucked...

...to this phrase off, for example, perfectionism. Whatever happens in your life, you tell yourself that, okay, that's because of my perfectionism. Are Really need to let go of this perfections and but all of the time it is the same and it doesn't really change. So if that perfectionism, that label that we put on ourself, is really a kind of true challenge for us, okay, that's okay. But if we just pay attention to that, because it is a fat these days, because everyone these days are are talking about paralysis, analysis or talking about the perfectionism or any other thing. So in this case it is not going to help us. So if we have put the label off, for example, procrastination, and ourselves, then we see a kind of course out there that says that how to stop procrastination, so we tend to attend that course and that workshop because it is the complimentary the goal setting and other areas of our life, I mean the dream illicidation and stuff. So we need to change this restrictive mindset. And the third planning trap is to not be realistic about our situation in our life. This is also really, really important to take into consideration, because whenever we are planning in a way that is very, very ideal, that is very great, you know, but it is not really take into consideration the situations of our life, the opportunities, the things that we're going to get through...

...them. You know, that planning and that program is just nonsense and we cannot really implement them in our life. Do you ad meat or do you accept that you, as a mom, have a kind of different, and I mean very different, situation? As the people in your age, but, for example, the ones that are not mom or that are not married or or any other situation. You really admit that? Just comper yourself with yourself before having a child. Does your situation and that person's situation, which is your previous self, have the same things in her life? So it is crystal clear that your situation really differs. So you need to be realistic. But this fact, you need to know that, and knowing that is just not enough. You need to take into consideration in every one of your decisions that you want to make, whether or not it is compatible with your situation in your life now. So if it is compatible with your situation now, it is accepted and you can, I mean, count on those kind of plannings. But if it is not really related to to your situation now in your life, so that is not the good way to plan or that is not a good plan to have. As I told you, these are the planning traps and there is a solution for this whole topic, the solution that is so straightforward and simple that you might have never thought about it. The solution is one word, and that word is flexibility. Flexibility around the...

...tools flexibility around your mindset, flexibility around your situations in your life, and let's just clarify that a little bit more. Flexibility around the tools means that you need to choose the tools and the methods of goal setting and planning and off that is a hundred percent flexible, because your situation really differs from other people's situations. So you need to have a kind of tool which is tailor made for yourself. So you need to change a lot of tools, you need to use them a lot and then you need to make sure that your method, your tool, at the end of the day, is flexible enough to be used in every day of your life. The second point was flexibility around your mindset, and that might be really related to that restrictive mindset that are told you before, that you need to be flexible in your mind about your situation. For example, if you are now a hundred percent sure that you have a presentation problem, for example, this is your problem and this is your planning trap. So you might be flexible about that. You might try that and then you might use that and then you might assess your life based on the method that you're using in order to plan your life and based on your assessment, try to, I mean, Replan and then curate your plan. So you need to be flexible around your mindset. If anyone tells you that you're perfect is or you are a procrastinator, or even because you...

...are really these days, I mean you're really engaged with a lot of phrases that you might have not heard before, like paralysis, analysis and stuff, and so whenever thinking of those phrases, you really need to be flexible, you really need to free your mind and just think of the real challenge, think of the real solution. The third point was flexibility in your life situation, and this is crystal clear, as I told you. For example, you have a situation in this week of your life, but it is not really the case that you can have this situation in another day to so every day our opportunities change, every day everything in our life change, and you just need to be flexible enough to just go with the wave, and this is really important. So at the end of this podcast, I want to tell you that, you know, flexibility around planning is maybe some sort of the kind of concept that you need to take into consideration, but what should we do in practice in order to implement all the things that we have talked about. What I want you to think about is, first of all, your self confidence level in this path of planning and goal setting. How much do you trust yourself, your methods, your ways of thinking in this path? How do you think you can plan for your own life? It is generally the case that, because of the things that you're seeing in their environment,...

...because of the things that we're basing with, you were obliged to think that we are not capable enough, we are not, I don't know, able enough to do something, to plan something, even our own life. We are not really confident to do some sort of planning and goal setting for our own life. And, as I told you, this is because of the the toxic environment that we are in that they try to give you this kind of shame and put a blame on you because of not being successful in any area of your life. But you know, the fact is that we just lost our trust and all we need is to retrive this trust and to try to trust ourself more. So this is the first step. Just trust on our own ability, is, on on our potentials to manage our life, because we are really capable of doing that. In the second place, I want you to assess your life. You know, always assessing our life and giving feedback from our current state of life is really the first and foremost step before planning our life, before goal setting, because we really need to know what is exactly going on in our lives and try to build other stepping stones on the infrastructure. We really need to assess our life. We have talked about the will of life technique in other episodes and this is a really good tool for giving you a bird's eye view of your life in all of the areas of your life. So please assess your life and please consider doing that because on a regular basis, if we do that, we can curate our methods, we can find tune our way of planning and goal setting,...

...because we can assess that, for example, with these kind of trigger it was a good shift and then with that trigger everything goes bad. So we can really find tune that after a while. In the third step, I want you to try, based on the trust that you have on yourself now and based on the assessment that you have done of your life, try to, I mean, offer solutions for yourself in order to become a more fulfilled version of yourself, and more I mean whole version of yourself, because our goal and intention behind every planning should be becoming a better version of ourselves in all of the aspects of ourselves. Should be our prosperity, should be our growth in all of the areas of our lives. So, if we take into consideration this definition and meaning, what is really important is to really think of the ways that we can improve our life quality in all of the areas of our life, based on the assessment that we have done and based on trusting on our instincts and on our abilities and potentials that we have in order to manage our life. And also we need to consider flexibility in all of our process, I mean in choosing the right tool, in using that tool, even in assessment, even in offering solutions for ourselves, in the whole process, we need to take it to consideration, the flexibility. So let's sum up today's topic for ourself. So first of all, we have talked about some of the questions that on a regular basis, we ask ourself about...

...why we are not successful in planning and stuff, and then we told that there are some of the misconceptions about the reason behind those answers and we think that, for example, we are procrastinator. It is in our mind and it is almost always some sort of false misconception, and these are the labels that we think are correct for us too, but you know, they might be some sort of fat these days. And then we have illustrated the situation of a mom and the fact that a mom really cannot comper hair life with the life of another person who is not a mom, who is not even married, and so their situation differs. And so if that mom uses the situation, and I mean the planning tools and everything, of that woman who is not a mom and who does not have the same situation as hers, so the mom might experience resenting and this is awful. We told that the main problem is not just these misconceptions. The main problem is that we are generalizing the methods that we are learning to our life, but we are really losing side of the fact that our situation really differs from other people's situations. So there might be some brilliant points and the Book Five Am Club, but you know, we are not obliged to do that in order to be successful. We should not really force ourselves to do all of the things that is in that book, because in this way we are generalizing. Maybe we are a night owl and we cannot really be awake in the five am and we should not be in the five am club because we are not that kind of person. So why are we generalizing the methods, the brilliant, even novel...

...methods after for our life? Because our life really differs from every other person's life. So, in my opinion, the planning traps are these three things. Inadequacy of the tools and techniques that we know for goal setting and planning, secondly, the restrictive mindset and the third one, being unrealistic about our situation in life. And we told that the one and only solution for that is to consider flexibility around everything allowed, around our tools, around our mindset and around the situation of our life. And we told that by having flexibility, we mean that we should be open to the tools that we are using, we should be open about assessing our life, we should be open about having scrutiny into our life and just see what are the challenges of our life, what are the good points and bad points, and try to assess our life and then try to use them for deriving the personal growth plan and then try to have that plan in our life with flexibility. So the solution is flexibility and trusting in ourself and then trying to implement them in our life. I hope that this concept could help you to just refrain your mindset around planning and the other stuff related to that. So at the end of this episode I want to give you a gentle reminder. We have a workshop called design your attainable best self that we have covered that best selfdefinition, deriving our goals and dreams and learn how to just use our dreams and goals as a way to guide us in this path of becoming our best self. And after that,...

...we have developed another workshop which is a complimentary for the previous one, and it is called attain your best self, and we are going to cover all of the things like productivity management, time management in a flexible way, and all of the things for all of the excuses that I think are in our mind and are prohibiting us from being successful in our planning and goal saying. It's going to be a really wonderful workshop, and I see these workshops are going to be held every month so you have the chance to attend them every month. Other than that, we have the planners. I mean moment as planner. As you know, it is a really good, flexible planning tool that it can count on because it is really tailor made for our mom life. And also we have the Mama Best Club. Mama Best Club is also a place that is going to show us the magic of commitment and consistency. It is a three month membership plan that it can come and be part of the community that every week we are going to plan together, we're going to fill our planners and then try to be motivated and to stay motivated in these days of our life, in the messy middle and be a hundred percent sure that at least we are doing the right thing and our planning and stuff. So these are the solutions that moment is has provided in this area. I hope that all of the solutions could help you in just even a tinny tiny way that you really need that. Other than that, I want to tell you something. You know, moments podcast is now on the third season and after the experiences that we've been through in that previous two seasons, I've...

...understood that I need to increase the interaction between you and me because I am doing this podcast because of you. I'm trying to just give the answers to your questions and in the previous two or three months I've received a lot of questions from you in the directs or any other word that we're really brilliant. You know I have. I gained a lot of insight from your questions also your answers, and they were really helpful. So I was thinking, why not sharing them with everybody? So I want you to just record a voice of you if you have any question from me or if you have any question in this area, because Mama is is a safe space full of love and commitment. No one wants to judge you. So if you have any question, how do you want to attain your best self around everything that is covered in Mama Nest? Please come and hang out with me in the directs. Please give me a voice of your question because I want to use it in the podcast and then I want to answer it for everybody. You know, our audiences are really wide range of people nowadays. So just think of it as a growth opportunity, to think of it as a way that you can serve other people, because your question might be another person's question that it can help a lot of other people. So please do that for me. Come and hang out with me in the direct messages of any of the social media platforms, especially the instagram page, and give me your question in voice, and also in this series of podcast, I mean in season three, we are going to have mindful practices to because these mindful practices are really, I...

...think, the favorite of yours, because in season one we had some of their mindful practices that you were really loving them, but in season two, unfortunately, we didn't have them, and so you were really giving me feedbacks about having mindful practices again, and I'm planning to have them more often. So, after all of these things, I want to thank you and I really appreciate your company in this path with me. Your responses, your feedbacks to everything that we are offering in moments, including podcast, English Academy, every other services that we have, is really really appreciated for me and I'm absolutely lead up every time that I hear from you. So please come and hang out with me, please write your responses right your your opinion about podcast, about everything in Apple Podcast, if you're listening or cast bogs or every other where, or come and hang out with us in the instagram or other social media platforms. I'll be more than happy to talk with you there. So thank you, everybody, and I wish you the best in the day ahead. Goodbye. So stay tuned, because I'm bringing you episodes once a week. Thanks for joining me today and, by the way, you can find the show notes on wwwadcom. And don't forget to subscribe to this podcast so we can receive fresh episodes every week. I look forward to our next episode. Bye. For now.

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