18 | "Good Enough Mom" vs "Perfect Mom"! three tangible steps beyond definition that helps you ease up on yourself and become a happier mom!

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Do you feel pressured most of the times about whether or not you're a good mom? 

You wanna be a so-called PERFECT mother, but you fail every time and this leads to your discontentment...

Do you wanna end this vicious cycle and become a GOOD ENOUGH Mom instead of a PERFECT mom, and finish this inner battle? 

in this week's episode we've talked about this topic which is a complementary topic to what we've talked about in our Mom talk this week (Dec 24th 2021). If you wish you can go and listen to this week's comunity session on instagram.

And Merry Christmas By the Way, I hope all the best for you and your family in 2022.

Hey Mama, this is Mama Nestand listening to another episode of this podcast. This episode number eighteen, and you'regoing to talk about perfectionism around motherhood. Do you also feel pressured most ofthe Times as a mom about whether or not you're a good mom ora perfect mom? In fact, all of us want to be a perfectmom, the kind of mom that we have always dreamed about being, andat the end of the day we find ourselves so miserable and, on theflip side, so imperfect and we're feeling really bad. What can we doto ease up on ourselves, and what is really the correct approach towards parade? Be The best version of yourself. Mamma, I'm master is a andwelcome to Mama Ist and nest for mother MOMS were eager to achieve a simpler, more intentional life. In this podcast, you're going to rewrite the screen andreinvent the culture of Motherhood Together. Remember, becoming a mother is thebeginning of our prosperity. Not Forgetting ourselves. A fulfilled, healthy, confident andproductive mom is all we need to be to guarantee our family's future.I'm an admission to make you feel in powered and less overwhelmed. Will focuson productivity, parenting, mindfulness, medimonism, sustainable lifestyle, financial awareness, besidesfamily wellness. I'm here to help you brought a new horizon and gainclarity and showing up as your best mamaself. So let's build you out today.Let's dive into it. Hey, Mama, how are you doing?I hope that you're doing really great these days. And Yeah, this week'stopic talking about perfectionism around motherhood. You know, this is the topic thatI've reached to after this week's community session, our mom talk, which was aboutthe definition of good enough mom versus perfect mom. You know, afterthis week's session, I was talking with some of you and you're told methat, okay, we understood that good enough mom is a better mindset tohave instead of being a perfect mom, but what are some of the practicaltiefs and hags that we can use in order to become that good enough momand in order to change this mindset of perfectionism in our mind around mother Hudand I see that. Yeah, this is the very important topic that Ineed to talk about in this podcast,...

...and so today we are going totalk about more tangible in down to Earth approaches about this topic. You know, we've talked about the definition of good enough person instead of perfect person inthis week's community session. You can go and listen to that or watch thatin our instagram page. All of them are saved and so we can goand binge LISSM and Binge Watch every one of them, you know. Buta quick recap of the definition of good mom. I told you that youreally need to focus on becoming our better version every day and be satisfied withthat level that we are in every day. You not just just making hard onour souls because of not being the kind of ideal perfect person every day, and this is very true, especially very true in the role of motherhoodand as a mom. We need to just be mindful of this. Verifiedthat we cannot be a perfect mom at all. It is not attainable andif we want to just focus and concentrate on becoming a perfect mom because itis unattainable in it really leads to burn out. It really did leads toa lot of pressure on our shoulders and we find ourselves so miserable at theend of the day. We feel guilty and because maybe we are yelling toomuch or we're misbehaving with our children. And really this happens when we aremaking hard on ourselves and we are not managing our expectations, especially in therole of Motherhood, which is so critical and so important to a lot ofus, to all of us in fact. You know, this is our firstand focus priority. So we're so sensitive about being a hundred percent perfect, but it comes to the role of motherhood. But you know, weare human beings and we're imperfect. In fact, it is unattainable to bea perfect person because we do have lots of layers in our lives and lotsof other roles and our lives that we need to joggle among all of them. So it happens that we feel Gill guilty. Maybe I've heard about momguilt, that mom guilt is real. Yeah, if we think it thisway, yes, mom guilt is real, but let's go to the root causeof this feeling guilty, this feeling of being guilty that what is itthat we're feeling guilty? The fact that...

...we are or just forcing ourselves tobe a perfect mom and then we cannot achieve that ideal level in our life. And then we feel guilty about that. Is it really the correct approach towardsparenting? Do our children really need perfect mothers in order to, forexample, beat successful in their future life, in order to be self confident?I told you in the community session that no, on the contrary,it is not at all. The fact about this, I mean topic.We do not need perfect moms, we do not need perfect dads for ourchildren to just feel the best, because we need to provide them the kindof atmosphere that make them prepared for entering the real world, and the realworld is not perfect. So we need to prepare them for the imperfections ofthe world. We need to just popart the for entering the kind of societywith all of the challenges that it has. So my child need to see mein a way that is really conceivable for him or her that yeah,Mommy also make may make some mistakes, or so or mommy may have somechallenges in her life, and this is completely acceptable and this is completely needingfor our child to see this kind of behavior. So, considering that allof us are on the same page and do believe that perfectionism is not goodand it's not acceptable, for especially their role of motherhood. We want toknow that. How can we, I mean just change this mindset of perfectionismto becoming a good enough mom and just to ease up on ourself on adaily basis, because, you know, this is the trap that we aremost of the Times, in, this trap of perfectionism, and so todaywe're going to talk about some practical steps. So, in the first place,I want you to accept that there will be some missus steps in ourbehavior, in our actions every day, and we need to show our soulsforgiveness and compassion because of those maybe misbehaviors or miss steps that we've committed.You know, this is so vital to embrace our flaws, embrace our imperfections, because this is life and read are human beings. Human beings may makemistakes, may make, I don't know, incorrect decisions on a daily basis and, especially in a dynamic world that...

...we're in, it is so probablethat we do commit some of that, I mean some of the kind ofmisbehaviors. And so, in order to show our souls forgiveness and compassion andin order to just prevent this feeling of guiltiness, we need to be mindful. Yes, mindfulness is a practical solution for this very issue, and weneed to be mindful. You know, mindful parents are so much more successfuland compared to other parents, we need to be a mindful person in orderto just know that in every stage of our life, in every stage ofour day and our relationships with the child, with our husband, with everyone,we need to know that, yes, this is it, I'm here,this is my feeling. Embrace your feeling and know that, okay,you are doing your best, but the result might not be that much perfectfor you because you might misbehave, you might have some, I didn't know, imperfections in your decisions, and this is totally okay. So, inorder to just build a better, I mean and more mindful version of yourself, you can do a wide range of activities. You know, there area lot of advices out there day you can go and grant them, butI highly recommend these three actions for any money out there, because I dobelieve in them. It really helped me. Every one of these timmy tiny actionsreally help me to be more mindful in my life. And the firstand foremost plant that I really emphasizing in it because it is so magical andyeah, it is miracle morning routine, and I do believe that if you, as a mom, have a miracle morning routine, means a sacred timeof the day before your child just wakes up you. You wake up maybethirty minute before your child and just focus on yourself, focused on your innerself. What is it that you're feeling at that moment? Maybe having someconnection with God, have some deep insightful connection with yourself, you know,Talk With Yourself, maybe journal. This really helps you to find your feelingsand to focus on your good feelings for...

...the rest of the day. Itreally pumps you up for a really energetic kind of day. The second actionthat I myself am so obsessed with is walking in the nature, especially,for example, early mornings when other people are still sleeping and everywhere is soquiet and you're just hearing the sound of the birds and everything is so authenticat that time of the day, and just focus on your thoughts, onyour emotions and feelings and reflect on your behavior. And thirdly, if you'reserious and you want to be a more mindful person, I highly recommend youto have a meeting with yourself every week in the form of a me time, you know, kind of meeting with yourself only, and reflect and reviewwhat have you done in the previous week and what you want to do inthe in the next week, maybe saying some goals and reviewing what of youdawne, and reflecting on your behaviors and setting some new intentions for the weekahead. This was a total game changer for myself personally, because the momentthat I made up my mind to have some sort of these meetings for withmyself seriously, it really changed everything. Nowadays, in the list of nonnegotiableactions that I do every week, having a meeting with myself, one onone time with myself, is one of the nonnegotiable actions that I do ona regular basis. I have a block of time planned out at the beginningof day week and I know that at the end of the week, forexample on Thursdays or on Fridays, I want to have a some sort ofone on one time with myself. I go to a coffee shop, ordermy favorite coffee and then think about what have I done during the past week? What was the sort of mistakes that I've made, the kind of decisions, maybe the Miss Steps and at the end of that I have my weeklyWins Review. I write down all of the winds that I had at thatweek, every TV timey action that I'm pleased about doing them, every kindof, I mean trivial, achievements that I've had in the past week.I write all of them down and then I thank myself for all of thehard work that I've done during the past...

...week. So this is a reallygood practice for you. You might have your own approach towards becoming a moremindful person. Just go with it in whatever approach that you would like.Just try to be a more mindful person, because mindfulness is apparent superpower. Weneed to build our mindful superpower in order to become some sort of moresatisfied and happier mom every day way. And the second recommendation is that,on top of becoming more micaul version of yourself, you need to become akinder and more compassionate person towards yourself. Yes, be kinder to yourself.Maybe after committing any kind of misbehavior or MISSTEP, it is really the timeto not just feel guilty but feel compassionate about yourself. Embrace your feeling.What is it that you're feeling at that time, and do whatever is reallyneeded for you at that time. Maybe you need a rest, maybe youneed to apologize from your children or your husband because of the behavior that youhad. In order to just make you feel better and stop this feeling ofguiltiness, do whatever that you want to do. Maybe you need just tograb a cup of coffee, everything going and walking in the nature, goingoutside. Do what is needed for you at that time in order to feelbetter, in order to be kinder yourself. Just respect your feelings at that time. Most of the Times, I can say that nearly ninety person ofthe time, it is the feeling of Burnouch, you know, we arebe tired, your busted, and so be kinder to yourself, respect yourfeelings, respect your mental health, respect your physical health, and okay,the third recommendation is that being more present with your child or your children.Try to become a more present mom, and this really helps us in anyway that you can imagine. You know, if we can try to become apresent mom instead of always at home mom but not having an equality timewith our kids, it really feels that gap among our relationships and it reallycan ameliorate the gaps in our behaviors, the gaps in our relationships with ourchild. And why do I mean by...

...that? is to have not quantitybut quality time with our children. Maybe it is twenty minutes a day,that much short, just twenty minutes a day is really enough for our childrento understand that, yes, they are our first and form of priority inlife and they just need our full attention for short amount of time in orderto be fulfilled, in order to feel fulfilled about their mother. But someof the Times or some of the days, we can find ourselves, and youcan admit that it really happens, that maybe we are twenty four hoursa day with them, but not having any kind of attentive relationship with them, just focusing on them, being present with them, and this is reallyawful because and not only our child gets disappointed of us, but also wefeel guilty at the end of the day. We feel that we are not enoughfor our children because we didn't experience anything novel or unique with them,and we just need to put our mobiles away, get up social and withoutany screening, I mean screen time, just focus on our child, letour child be the leader and do whatever they want. If you have morethan one child, it is recommended to have one on one time with eachof the children, not just having, for example, twenty minute time withall of your three children. That is not one on one time, youknow. So carve out some time for your child and just be committed tothat quality time, because in the long run you would feel, you know, perfect, your better mom so if you also, like me, arekind of person that maybe some the times are just overlooking this quality time withyour child, you can add into the nonnegotiable list of actions that you haveplanned for yourself the action that you need to do on a regular basis inorder to feel fulfilled, in order to feel that all of your needs aremet, and this is really important to to be taken into consideration. Sobring all of those needs that you have in your life into your schedule,into your plannings, and then plan for them in advance and then commit toyour plans and you'd see that after two or three weeks you feel really perfectabout your role of motherhood and you feel that you're doing so much better incompared to the previous weeks or previous days.

So that was it. Some sortof tangible TV, tiny recommendations for you. I know that you allknow about this stuff, but this might be some sort of trigger for allof us to just think twice it comes to the definition of good mom orbest mom or better mom, and the pressures that we feel all the timeon our shoulders. I hope that this week's topic was blessing you in someway. Also, we have community stations, so we can go and follow ourinstagram account in order to just be informed about those sessions. And atthe end of this podcast, I wanted to wish you a very merry Christmasand a year full of happiness, joy and contentment for you and your family. Goodbye for now. Thanks for listening to the MAMMAS podcast. If youenjoyed today's episode, please subscribe. That way you'll receive fresh episodes every week. Did you know that together we can change the forgotti culture of caring andsharing a proof that we care for each other and ourselves? Just you needto head over to Itunes, subscribe and then leave a positive review so thatmany more women can benefit. The second way is to take a screenshout ofthis very episode. Tag Me at Mamma's official and go share it in yourinstagram stories. I truly look forward to connecting with you, so stay tuned.

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